I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
