Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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