Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
