I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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