One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
