That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
