There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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