You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
home. puking in laundry basket.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
