Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
