So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize