It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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