i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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