It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
