I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hippo gnu deer
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
