I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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