what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
