and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize