jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
