Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
