C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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