Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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