What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
