That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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