She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
