Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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