we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is my gift to your gina
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
