he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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