I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
