Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
time to smoke my breakfast
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have fence marks all over my body
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize