Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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