Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm too high and old for this...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
