you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
