I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize