You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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