Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
