so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
