He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
