Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
