I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
