Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so let's talk penis.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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