i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Your dad touched me again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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