stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
