WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
