Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
