Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
