There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
