Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
