There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
