Jerry, you need to find god
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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