Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
