I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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