there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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