I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
