So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Randomize
