My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
