Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
