The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize