What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize