Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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