im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
