ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
