Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize