I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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