Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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