Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
