Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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