we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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