He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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