So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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