I hate all girls vehemently.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it glows. i had to have it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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