marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
