I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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