Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
