I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
