I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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