i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize