when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
