Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
