uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
